Wednesday, March 24, 2010

Words that have Two Meanings and Milk Lady Strikes Again

Recently, I had the pleasure of meeting up with a very good friend. She has three very adorable and personable children and we spent the day in the sun on the beach. HyperGirl, her middle child, is aptly named as she is incredibly hyper ALL. THE. TIME. The kid just never stops moving! Our conversations usually happened like this:

HyperGirl: Miss Bus Driver! Miss Bus Driver! Miss Bus Driver! Miss Bus Driver! Miss Bus Driver! Miss Bus Driver! Miss Bus Driver! Miss Bus Driver! Miss Bus Driver! Miss Bus Driver! Miss Bus Driver!

Me: What?

HyperGirl: I'm Annoying!!!

Then dissolving into fits of laughter in the backseat.

But, one particular conversation stands out among all interactions I had with this child.

HyperGirl: I like this car, is it new?

Me: Yes it is new.

HyperGirl: Oh really? When did you get it?

Me: I got it after my Accident.

HyperGirl: (trying to sound sympathetic) Oh well, thats ok, I still have accidents too... I wet the bed sometimes!

Her mother and I couldn't help but laugh.


In other news, I transported Milk Lady to Walmart recently. I had her on my list on other days, but she had simply not materialized. It was another rainy day and I pulled up to her apartment to see her door propped open. This was a sure sign that she was going to go. I also had a witness in the bus, a lady from the office who was hitching a ride to the maintenance shop to pick up a bus that had been serviced. As we pulled up to the apartment, the lady from the office mentioned to me that she was going to simply sit back and watch how Milk Lady treated me as a driver. I nodded and waited.

Milk Lady appeared at the doorway and called out to the bus, "Are you going to close my door for me?" I responded back politely with, "No ma'am I'm not allowed." She started to call me a liar and then thought better of it, opened her mailbox right outside her door and pulled out this blue dog leash thingy. It looks like a dog leash with the collar hook snipped off. She uses it to close the door when she is by herself. She holds it up and calls out to me, " THIS is NOT a DOG LEASH, it is a LEG STRAP." Apparently she was clarifying my misnomer. I had called it a dog leash on that fateful Saturday.

I nodded and smiled, and said, "OK" then proceeded to let down the lift. Milk Lady then made this HUGE production of asking her neighbor to close her door for her complete with hand gestures pointing out the EVIL transit lady who won't help a poor innocent handicapped person. She finally makes her way to the lift and I make small talk:

Me: So they finally put in a ramp for you in the sidewalk, it looks nice.

Milk Lady: I would PREFER if you didn't TALK to me.

I get the lift level with the bus, and she rolls herself in. At this point she sees the office lady and turns all sickeningly sweet as I'm securing her chair and says:

Milk Lady: OfficeLady, YOU would have shut my door for me RIGHT???

OfficeLady: I'm sorry, but its against our policy.


As soon as she heard that, she shut up and was silent and giving both of us the evil eye throughout the transport. We transported her to Walmart with no further complications, though she did ask if I was going to be the one to pick her up. When I replied negatively, she made this big production and said "Well thank GOD, I don't have to deal with you again!!!"

When she finally rolled off the lift at Walmart, I wished her a nice day, then sat back in the drivers seat. The office lady broke the silence by saying, "Well you could cut that tension with a knife!"

Eating Cookies... with Milk,

The Bus Driver

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