Well, it has been a while since I've updated simply due to the increase in work from both jobs. I've been working the weekends mainly at transit and have a few upcoming field trips that I'm definitely looking forward to.
Almost every Sunday, I have the pleasure of transporting an elderly black baptist lady (Hat Lady) over to her church in a nearby town about a 15 minute ride. She is in a wheelchair and has no mobility and resides in a nursing home, but she faithfully goes to church every Sunday when she is in good health. Every Sunday that she does go to church, she dresses up and puts on a hat. Yes, true southern baptist HATS. Its a surprise every Sunday which hat she wears. They range in color from traditional white, black, and blue, to as extravagant as red and animal prints. Naturally, her outfit always matches her hat.
I call my mother most every Sunday to give her the "Hat Report". Last Sunday, she wore a leopard print hat and had the matching jacket to go with it. Unfortunately this Sunday, I'll be transporting Negative Ned over to his storage buildings in order for him to load up the bus with junk to haul back to town.
In transit, I come across a lot of strange characters and receive a lot of requests from folks who don't want to pay the extra money for a service like stopping at a Burger King to procure lunch. Often times these folks will offer to pay for my meal, or offer me a drink or a small tip in return for providing the extra stop. Usually, I am not allowed to stop anywhere that is not designated on transit on our schedules, but occasionally, I have to make exceptions. Most of the exceptions come when folks do not have exact change for the ride, so I simply stop at a convenience store nearby, change out the money, and quickly get underway. Other times, if I have to wait an extended period of time for a person at a destination out of town, I will take the bus to the nearest restaurant and get refreshment for myself. Other requests that I receive are typically requests for help such as opening a door for a handicapped person, or quickly running into a building for a person that cannot physically do it. I'm usually willing to oblige these requests, as it simply makes my life and the other persons life easier.
Funeral Faith is a lady I've transported to a viewing at a funeral home as well as a couple of her family functions. Her morbid name comes from the fact that her son (Funeral Frank) owns a part of a local funeral home. Her family is very warm and welcoming. There is always a family member who rides the bus with Faith to whatever the function is. During one of the last transports, Funeral Frank rode the bus with her. We got to talking and he revealed that he was part owner to a local funeral home. Then he proceeded to give me the strangest offer I have received to date. He has offered me a free tour of the Funeral Home.
Yes, a Funeral Home.
I didn't know how to respond to it, so I simply thanked him for his generous offer, and told him I'd consider it. Inside I was screaming, "EEK Dead Bodies!!! RUN AWAY!!!"
Going to an Early Grave,
The Bus Driver
Saturday, February 6, 2010
Friday, January 22, 2010
Overheard - Two for the Price of One
Today was a fun filled day of circuses and bowling. Both unrelated trips, but both producing their equivalent of hyperactive excitable children. A large group of Pre-K babies got to go see the circus at a local venue. Of course this morning, most of the babies were already hyped up for the field trip and really excited. This of course left them on a permanent sugar buzz from all the cotton candy, sugar, and excitement throughout the day of lions, tigers, and bears - Oh My! This little gem came from the afternoon route.
I often have the opportunity to sit and listen to Pre-K babies interact with each other while waiting for the larger kids to come out of their school. Often these children love to "tattle" on each other and most simply call me "Ms. Bus Driver". This exchange happened today while waiting:
Pre-K Girl 1: Ms. RegularDriversName! Ms. RegularDriversName! Ms. RegularDriversName!
Pre-K Girl 2(to #1): Ms. RegularDriversName is not here today!
Pre-K Girl 1(with attitude): So,she can change her name to Ms. RegularDriversName.
Apparently according to Girl 1 - I can magically change my name at will! AMAZING!
**************************************************
I did not get to go to the circus. I did get to take the 7th graders bowling. This trip was a reward for good behavior. As always with trips, lots of random and unexplainable things happen. This happened on the bus en route to the bowling alley:
7th Grade Boy(standing up randomly): When I say Hillshire!, You say Farm!
7th Grade Boy(continuing after a pause): HILLSHIRE!
Whole Bus(including myself and the teachers): FARM! GO MEAT!
Complete with pumping arms in air victoriously.
Yes. It was a good ride.
The Bus Driver
I often have the opportunity to sit and listen to Pre-K babies interact with each other while waiting for the larger kids to come out of their school. Often these children love to "tattle" on each other and most simply call me "Ms. Bus Driver". This exchange happened today while waiting:
Pre-K Girl 1: Ms. RegularDriversName! Ms. RegularDriversName! Ms. RegularDriversName!
Pre-K Girl 2(to #1): Ms. RegularDriversName is not here today!
Pre-K Girl 1(with attitude): So,she can change her name to Ms. RegularDriversName.
Apparently according to Girl 1 - I can magically change my name at will! AMAZING!
**************************************************
I did not get to go to the circus. I did get to take the 7th graders bowling. This trip was a reward for good behavior. As always with trips, lots of random and unexplainable things happen. This happened on the bus en route to the bowling alley:
7th Grade Boy(standing up randomly): When I say Hillshire!, You say Farm!
7th Grade Boy(continuing after a pause): HILLSHIRE!
Whole Bus(including myself and the teachers): FARM! GO MEAT!
Complete with pumping arms in air victoriously.
Yes. It was a good ride.
The Bus Driver
Saturday, January 16, 2010
Overheard - Transit Edition
Driving an elderly woman home.
Miss Elderly: Miss Bus Driver, You know what I'm gonna do when I get home?
Me: No, what are you going to do.
Miss Elderly: Well, first I'm going to take out my false teeth, then I'm gonna cut my TV on, then I'm gonna strip.
Me: .........
Miss Elderly: Miss Bus Driver, You know what I'm gonna do when I get home?
Me: No, what are you going to do.
Miss Elderly: Well, first I'm going to take out my false teeth, then I'm gonna cut my TV on, then I'm gonna strip.
Me: .........
Monday, January 11, 2010
I won't tell if you won't!
After a long winter break, I've compiled a list of things I've learned while working odd hours.
1. Walmart carts roll in the back of a bus when they are not secured.
2. Walmart carts that roll, but are filled with groceries, will NOT tip over, just simply slam into the walls of the bus uninhibited making loud noises.
3. The wheelchair lift will malfunction when you least expect it and at the most inopportune times.
4. When it is raining, the optimal time for loading people that are wheelchair bound is when it is pouring rain. Contrarily, the second you sit in the drivers seat after getting soaked is when the rain will stop.
5. Old people are great!
The fifth item on the list deserves a story.
There once was this old cranky man who lived alone, but traveled somewhere different every day for lunch/breakfast. Well as of recently he has not been taking his daily jaunts into town, so imagine my surprise when he showed up on my schedule one day for transit. I show up at his house, and he hobbles out with a cane and a very large clunky boot on his foot. (Apparently he's had foot surgery of some sort.)
Anyhow, he gets on the bus and after the usual friendly banter, we're off to his destination. About halfway through the ride, he tells me about how he's basically been a prisoner in his own home because he's supposed to be staying there and keeping his leg elevated. He also complains that his daughter is not bringing him all the milk that he wanted to drink. The man is elderly and very set in his ways.
He then informs me that his daughter doesn't know about his lunch trip, but that she'd be in church until noon, and he's "Just GOT to get out of the house!" So I said to him, "I won't tell if you won't! But we gotta get you home before your daughter comes over to find you missing!" He just laughed and grinned. He returned home with a belly full and a very happy demeanor.
Fast forward to later in the week, his daughter called while I was sitting in the office demanding to know if we took her father out to eat over the weekend.
BUSTED!
The Bus Driver
1. Walmart carts roll in the back of a bus when they are not secured.
2. Walmart carts that roll, but are filled with groceries, will NOT tip over, just simply slam into the walls of the bus uninhibited making loud noises.
3. The wheelchair lift will malfunction when you least expect it and at the most inopportune times.
4. When it is raining, the optimal time for loading people that are wheelchair bound is when it is pouring rain. Contrarily, the second you sit in the drivers seat after getting soaked is when the rain will stop.
5. Old people are great!
The fifth item on the list deserves a story.
There once was this old cranky man who lived alone, but traveled somewhere different every day for lunch/breakfast. Well as of recently he has not been taking his daily jaunts into town, so imagine my surprise when he showed up on my schedule one day for transit. I show up at his house, and he hobbles out with a cane and a very large clunky boot on his foot. (Apparently he's had foot surgery of some sort.)
Anyhow, he gets on the bus and after the usual friendly banter, we're off to his destination. About halfway through the ride, he tells me about how he's basically been a prisoner in his own home because he's supposed to be staying there and keeping his leg elevated. He also complains that his daughter is not bringing him all the milk that he wanted to drink. The man is elderly and very set in his ways.
He then informs me that his daughter doesn't know about his lunch trip, but that she'd be in church until noon, and he's "Just GOT to get out of the house!" So I said to him, "I won't tell if you won't! But we gotta get you home before your daughter comes over to find you missing!" He just laughed and grinned. He returned home with a belly full and a very happy demeanor.
Fast forward to later in the week, his daughter called while I was sitting in the office demanding to know if we took her father out to eat over the weekend.
BUSTED!
The Bus Driver
Friday, January 1, 2010
Merry Christmas and Happy New Years
Hello to EVERYONE out there in Blog land!!!!
I've been largely silent as of recently because I've been working a lot. Hopefully 2010 will have many more stories and anecdotes to share. May your new year be happy healthy and prosperous.
Looking To The Future,
The Bus Driver
I've been largely silent as of recently because I've been working a lot. Hopefully 2010 will have many more stories and anecdotes to share. May your new year be happy healthy and prosperous.
Looking To The Future,
The Bus Driver
Friday, December 11, 2009
Nemo On Ice meets My Car
November has been a whirlwind month for me. Early in the month, I mentioned that I was going to see Nemo On Ice and that a personal situation was taking up much of my time. Then Thanksgiving happened, I had family come and visit, and as such, have not been able to update as frequently as I'd have liked to.
Nemo On Ice was really cute and very well put together. It basically followed the movie and had some new fun songs. The skaters were really talented and managed some very difficult moves on ice wearing huge fish costumes that would have put me on my butt! The drive up and back was relatively uneventful except the teachers on my bus were questioning every driving decision I made. They were speaking amongst themselves but were quite loud and obnoxious about openly debating why we were taking X road instead of Y road, and how we could be there faster if we had done Y and Z instead of W and X. Part of me wanted to pull the bus over, get up and tell them that they can drive. Then we hit traffic on the way in as always happens when the Civic Center has a huge child friendly production, and they proceeded to complain about THAT! The rest of the trip went without incident.
After driving all day and dealing with grouchy teachers, I was on my way home when a lady ran a stop sign causing me to hit the brakes. Despite all my efforts, we collided. She was traveling so fast that she pulled my car 90 degrees to the right with her momentum, and when we disconnected, I hit a stop sign. It flattened. My airbags did NOT go off and I was miraculously not hurt. My car was deemed a total loss. I couldn't post about it until the issue had completely resolved. RIP 2001 Honda Accord.
Nemo On Ice was really cute and very well put together. It basically followed the movie and had some new fun songs. The skaters were really talented and managed some very difficult moves on ice wearing huge fish costumes that would have put me on my butt! The drive up and back was relatively uneventful except the teachers on my bus were questioning every driving decision I made. They were speaking amongst themselves but were quite loud and obnoxious about openly debating why we were taking X road instead of Y road, and how we could be there faster if we had done Y and Z instead of W and X. Part of me wanted to pull the bus over, get up and tell them that they can drive. Then we hit traffic on the way in as always happens when the Civic Center has a huge child friendly production, and they proceeded to complain about THAT! The rest of the trip went without incident.
After driving all day and dealing with grouchy teachers, I was on my way home when a lady ran a stop sign causing me to hit the brakes. Despite all my efforts, we collided. She was traveling so fast that she pulled my car 90 degrees to the right with her momentum, and when we disconnected, I hit a stop sign. It flattened. My airbags did NOT go off and I was miraculously not hurt. My car was deemed a total loss. I couldn't post about it until the issue had completely resolved. RIP 2001 Honda Accord.
Thursday, November 19, 2009
Dear Parent Who Rolled His Eyes At Me
Warning: Rant below. Read at your own Risk!
Dear Impatient Parent,
I'm sorry your children didn't get home until 4:06 pm today. I'm sorry that I was cautious and drove safely out of concern for YOUR children. I'm sorry that the bus I drove today was not fast enough for you. I'm sorry I couldn't get your children home earlier than 4:06 pm. I'm sorry that I don't know the bus route well enough because the regular driver changes the route path often. I'm sorry if I had to deal with constant behavior problems because I am a substitute driver. I'm sorry that the other children on the bus cause delays because precious seconds are wasted when they say good bye or ANOTHER concerned parent stops to talk to me briefly. I'm sorry we had a delay leaving the school on time because of traffic patterns and concerns.
I'm sorry the bus is so packed that I am forced to make two runs just so we can fit all the children on the route on the bus to get home. I'm sorry that my being late by a few minutes has inconvenienced you and forced you to stand at the bus stop for your children a few extra minutes. So excuse me when you roll your eyes and look at your watch and sigh disrespectfully and disdainfully in my direction and when I apologize to your face for the delays, you simply turn away and walk toward your house sighing loudly and glaring at me because I am a safe cautious driver who does not race to get from point A to point B, instead I choose to play it safe for your children and the safety of OTHER peoples children. You are NOT the only parent in the world!
Kindly,
The Bus Driver
Dear Impatient Parent,
I'm sorry your children didn't get home until 4:06 pm today. I'm sorry that I was cautious and drove safely out of concern for YOUR children. I'm sorry that the bus I drove today was not fast enough for you. I'm sorry I couldn't get your children home earlier than 4:06 pm. I'm sorry that I don't know the bus route well enough because the regular driver changes the route path often. I'm sorry if I had to deal with constant behavior problems because I am a substitute driver. I'm sorry that the other children on the bus cause delays because precious seconds are wasted when they say good bye or ANOTHER concerned parent stops to talk to me briefly. I'm sorry we had a delay leaving the school on time because of traffic patterns and concerns.
I'm sorry the bus is so packed that I am forced to make two runs just so we can fit all the children on the route on the bus to get home. I'm sorry that my being late by a few minutes has inconvenienced you and forced you to stand at the bus stop for your children a few extra minutes. So excuse me when you roll your eyes and look at your watch and sigh disrespectfully and disdainfully in my direction and when I apologize to your face for the delays, you simply turn away and walk toward your house sighing loudly and glaring at me because I am a safe cautious driver who does not race to get from point A to point B, instead I choose to play it safe for your children and the safety of OTHER peoples children. You are NOT the only parent in the world!
Kindly,
The Bus Driver
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