Bathing A Cat

So this post is a deviation from my normal ranting about the school bus, but this was too funny not to share.

I chose last night to venture into the little known territory that is "Cat Bathing". I currently am a servant to two spoiled felines. Jake, my boycat, looks like he's swallowed a basketball he's so chubby. He is currently on a weight loss diet per vet orders. He is declawed and extremely friendly. Heck, if you just set food in front of him, he'd love you for life. PJ, my girlcat, is my dainty female feline companion. She loathes water and has a general disdain for everything. She keeps herself quite clean. Jake, on the other hand, needs a little help in the cleaning department.

Occasionally I've needed to rinse him down to help his skin from being so itchy, but recently he's been getting bald spots from where fleas or other irritants are plaguing his skin. His skin is quite sensitive and he reacts to any feline immunizations he receives too. The immunizations also cause bald spots, especially frequent where he cannot groom himself effectively. Well, the spots had gotten so bad, that I made the folly of deciding to bathe him.

I prepared myself for the battle. I bought Johnson and Johnson's baby shampoo, grabbed a clean towel from the closet, removed the litterbox from the area so it wouldn't track if wet cat got in it, and settled on finding Jake for his torture... erm... bath.....

I wrangle the basketball into the bathtub and perch him on a seat in the tub. I turn on the water and douse the victim.... cat.... thoroughly. I grab the baby shampoo and open it and squeeze. Nothing comes out. I realize, halfway through struggling with a wet cat, running water, and the bottle... that the bottle is SEALED. Yep. Regular shampoo is unsealed, but Johnson's baby shampoo is sealed tight. I try everything I can to keep the cat in place on the seat while trying to twist open the bottle top. I knocked over my regular shampoo whilst trying to open the bottle over the squirming and yowling Jake. I finally manage to get the bottle top off the bottle, to find the seal impossible to break without fingernails or a good sharp object. I stick the bottle in my mouth intending to only just barely pop the seal to peel the top off, Jake squirms and attempts an escape, and while attempting to catch him, I squeeze the now popped sealed bottle in my mouth resulting in a wonderful mouthful of Johnson's baby shampoo.

Exasperated, I practically dumped the contents of the bottle on Jake and quickly lathered him up, much to his chagrin. At this point, he's yowling in protest while I rinse off the shampoo. In trying to get his belly, I get soaked in the process. He's still trying to make a break for it and he's still SLIPPERY. I finally rinse off all the shampoo and grab the towel to dry him off. He is giving me the death stare. I dried him as effectively as I could, stripped off my wet clothes and called it done.

And that, ladies and gentlemen, is the story of Jake's bath.

The Bus Driver

A Thanksgiving Miracle

Just when we are gearing up for the holidays, the unimaginable happens.

A child, injured by the school bus, having fallen under the rear wheels.

People scrambling to find out what happened.

Fingers are starting to point.

Did he push her?

Did she play around?

Is it the bus drivers fault?

Video shows the drama unfolding.

People stare in disbelief that this could happen to anyone at one of the safest places around, school.

Tears are shed, prayers sent up, as the child is loaded into the ambulance and whisked away by helicopter life flight.

Radio silence.

Uncertainty.

Is this happening?

Is it real?

The questions start to come flooding in.

More prayers.

What will happen to the bus driver?

Will it ever return to normal?

A Thanksgiving Miracle occurs and the 15 year old girl is OK.

She suffers only internal bruising and is sent home for the holiday.

Things change at the High School forever.

*************************

This really happened.


Stay Safe, Arrive Alive,

The Bus Driver.

A little story about L-O-V-E.

Stupid attends a local community college and is currently trying to obtain his GED. There is nothing wrong with going for higher education, but he is doing this between getting high on drugs and drunk off alcohol all while cultivating his own little love triangle. Not exactly the "higher" education I would have chosen. Stupid currently has two children by two different mothers in two different states. Stupid has a third girlfriend who is an off again on again smoker and who also antagonizes Stupid.

I get the pleasure of interacting with Stupid on a weekly basis as he rides transit to and from school. Stupid has an anger problem as well and has tried to put his fist through a cement pillar. I have news for everyone, the pillar won that battle. I also transport another lady to and from the college. She is smart and has a good head on her shoulders and a goal in life.

Anyhow, every day there is a different story about how one babymama doesn't like Stupid or about how the other babymama is preventing him from seeing his child. Apparently his lack of brain cells hasn't figured out that the two women likely realize that Stupid will never provide for his children, so they have found other people to provide for the children. So to complete this love triangle, he picks up a girlfriend at the college. They seem to have an argument at every turn, usually involving her quitting smoking and him "catching" her lying about quitting.

One of the early exchanges we had about this new "girlfriend" of his went as follows:

Stupid: Ms BusDriver, Me and girlfriend had a fight and we broke up.

Me: Aw, Sorry to hear that. (trying to sound indifferent)

Stupid: Yeah it just hurts, I really don't want to lose this one. I love this one too much.

Me: Aww that's too bad, how long have you been together?

Stupid: (while he counts on his fingers) Ummmmmm 6 days?

Yes ladies and gentlemen... this man is up for grabs!

Fast forward to last week when he boarded the bus and told me that the 6 day relationship was officially over. He was lamenting on how he wished it would work out and how he now has to find another girlfriend. I'm giving him the usual non committal "mmmhmm's and yeah?'s" when from the back, the other client (who has also been listening to Stupid constantly) speaks up with:

Client: Have you ever thought about being single for a while?

Smart Women for the WIN!

The Bus Driver

Rock, Paper, Scissors .... Tornado?!

Its been a whirlwind month and a half back at work and we are still going full speed ahead. We are so shorthanded, its hard to get any breathing room! This blog will be long, so bear with me!

One thing I've noticed is that children respond very well to praise for positive behavior. I've taken to asking for a volunteer every morning to check the bus for sleeping children and making sure everyone is awake and gets off the bus. This is usually at the elementary school, and most of those kids LOVE to get picked to do a job. I also make it a point to thank them and point them out to the teacher on duty so that they may get some public praise. They soak it up!

Parents are also out in full force. Just today, I had two separate parents tell me how they don't understand why the bus goes two different directions. Unfortunately, this particular bus does not have a regular consistent driver and is at the mercy of substitutes. One parent wants the bus to do it one way, the other parent can't seem to be satisfied no matter what we do. Listen people, if you have a problem with the bus, get in your fancy schmancy little car and drive your happy little butt to the school, wait in line with all the other picky parents and drop off/pick up your own darn child from school. Trust me, we really don't mind that your child won't be riding the bus as your child is probably just as a pain in the butt as you are!

In other parent news, last year, I wrote about a parent who rolled his eyes at me. Well this parent is also back in full force. All last year whenever I drove that bus, he would stand with his arms crossed and his face all red from being mad at me and the bus. I'm not the only driver who experiences his anger either. Another driver told him to get his daughter (high school age) a car, and let HER drive. I wish I had been on the bus that day! Anyhow, I've had the lovely experience of driving that route twice in the last two weeks. The regular bus driver had a field trip both times and was unavailable to drive the bus.

The first time I drove, I ended up getting caught at the railroad tracks for about 10 minutes. It put me behind going to the high school to pick up the final load of children and of course, naturally, made HIS children LATE. Apparently, he called the bus shop, and cussed out the secretaries at the shop for the bus being late with HIS children. I received a call over the CB radio telling me to avoid any interaction with him and to refer him to the big bossman. I had no idea that he had used vile language with the secretaries. He tried to get my attention that day, but I simply ignored him. Unfortunately, due to the train, AND the fact that I do not drive as fast as the regular driver, his children were about 15-20 minutes late. I think they usually get dropped around 3:55-4 pm, where I dropped them about 4:15 that day.

Earlier this week, I drove that bus again and was not held up by a train this time, but had a child who face planted in the aisle (that's another blog!) I wasn't even held up by much anything except children getting off the bus. I still managed to get HIS children home between 4:05 and 4:07. He was as mad as ever. He came to the drivers side window and asked me when I'd be driving the bus again. I told him I didn't know. He then told me that I should call him when I'm driving, because HIS children WON'T be riding when I drive because I'm ALWAYS late. Yep, its MY responsibility to let him know and its MY fault I'm late?!?! Wonderful. I have no intentions of telling him anything and he can take it up with my bossman.

On a lighter note, the following exchange happened between two boys on the bus this afternoon:

Boy1 to Boy2: Let's play Rock, Paper, Scissors!

Boy2: Ok!

Boy1: Ready? Rock, Paper, Scissors!

Boy2: What's that? (staring at Boy1's hand)

Boy1: A tornado!!!! (makes whirling motion with his hand in the shape of a tornado)

Tornado's beat everything!



Whirling around!

The Bus Driver

How to run a successful Field Trip and other news.

It has been nearly a full three weeks since school started and the children (and bus drivers) are back in full swing. The first week back was actually a really nice change of pace since we have all the elementary students (pre-k through 5th grade) getting off at the same school. Its been working out really well on our end.

That being said, its that season again. The season of fall field trips to pumpkin patches, Halloween parties, and other various fall activities. Here are a few pointers that will help make your field trip run smoothly if you are the coordinator.

1. Make sure you have submitted the proper paperwork to the bus barn/garage in sufficient enough time for the bus barn to secure a driver and bus for the trip. In this paperwork should be the location of pick up, the time of pick up, whether or not lunches are to be picked up/included, and any other essential information such as a destination. Also, you should include a time for drop off back at the school. Keep in mind, most bus drivers have to return in enough time to complete their afternoon routes.

2. When you board the bus at the time of the field trip, make sure you coordinate with the driver and confirm that the driver has the paperwork you submitted stating the destination and times. Make sure you have a roster that has the names of the students you are taking on the trip along with emergency contacts for each student and give a copy to the bus driver. If the bus is in an accident, this roster can be very handy to have.

3. Bring directions. Don't automatically assume that the bus driver knows how to get to all destinations you put on your trip request. Having directions and/or a map printout can be very handy.

4. Preach and practice bus safety. Before you get on the bus with your group of students, go over the bus rules and regulations. This way there is no surprises for children when the bus driver asks them to be quiet at the railroad crossings or tells them to sit properly in the seats. The bus driver may also go over the emergency exits on the bus and explain how to use them at the time of the trip.

5. Meals. Coordinate with the lunchroom if they are going to pack your class bag lunches, or ensure that every student has sufficient money to purchase their own lunch at the destination. Don't forget the bus driver. A simple meal is very much appreciated by many bus drivers especially when we wait on the group as they do the activity. A simple sandwich with fruit and milk can make all the difference and is warmly received.

6. Contact information for the bus driver. Don't hesitate to ask the bus driver for their contact information when you get to a destination. I often provide my cell phone number for teachers/coaches riding my bus that way when the group wants to board the bus again, they have a way of contacting me. Don't assume that the bus driver will stay in one place while your group does the activity. Often activities last longer than 2-3 hours and bus drivers will often go and visit with other bus drivers, shopping, or to a nearby restaurant and may not be readily available at a moments notice. It is a good idea to give us about a 15 minute notice before your group ends the activity, that way we can be ready for you.

7. Be ready for inclement weather. Plan accordingly.

8. Have fun and when in doubt, ask the bus driver.

If you follow these steps, you are likely to have a very successful field trip/activity.


Happy tripping!

The Bus Driver

It's so hot.....

"It's so hot ... you could fry an egg and bake a biscuit!" - Lady on transit this morning.

On that note, summer is drawing to a close and we are full speed ahead on track for the first day of school. Our first day is August 9 and we are looking at some changes in the upcoming school year. Last year I blogged about our Pre-Kindergarten students being bussed from their primary school to their proper zoned schools. It all evened out in the end and the kids settled in nicely to their zoned schools. We also didn't seem to have as much trouble with parents as the year progressed and we were firm with the changes that we had put in place. Kids rarely got on the wrong bus, or transferred out of zone. We did have a few parents try to skirt the system by lying to the bus driver, or transporting their child to another bus route's stop, but I expect as years pass, those will become fewer and fewer.

One of the big changes this year is the integration of Pre-Kindergarten into the K-5 configuration. In previous years, the Pre-K was in their own school separate from the rest of the grades. This year, all elementary kids will be getting off at the same school and our schools will become Pre-k - 5 configuration. It is supposed to cut down on fuel use by the buses, but I also hope it will reduce the confusion of where each child is supposed to go at the end of the school day. It will also reduce the anxiety of our pre-k kids who surprisingly adjusted well last year to being bussed to different schools, but now won't have to go through that.

As always, stay safe on the roads and watch out for children!

The Bus Driver

Do you have a stretcher?

I might need one after this holiday weekend. A majority of the weekend was relatively uneventful and downright predictable, except for Stretcher Granny. My last pick up of the day on the Fourth of July was a one-way trip from a nursing home to a local address about 15-20 minutes away. Being it was the holiday, I figured it was grandma going home for a short stay with family during the holiday. Ordinarily, we do these runs all the time, one-way, round-trip etc.

I should have known this run was not going to be anything but ordinary when I walked into the nursing home to inquire about the individual and the nurse on duty looked me in the eye and deadpanned, "Do you have a stretcher?" Yes, you read that right. A stretcher. Our typical response is, "No, we do not have a stretcher. We are not an ambulance service. We are simply transport." Someone then spoke to the nurse and then the nurse said to me, "Oh I guess they're going to put her in a wheelchair instead."

I figure, "Sure, I've dealt with a lot of wheelchair patients before, why is this one any different?" It was. They wheel Stretcher Granny out in a wheelchair and the first thing I notice is her awkward position in the wheelchair almost like she can't sit upright in the chair. Her head is resting on the CNA pushing the wheelchair. When the CNA backs up a little bit and her head is off the CNA, it is hanging there practically bobbing up and down and side to side. I ask, "Can she support herself?" The answer is, "No."

I should have refused transport right then and there, but I plugged on. We get Stretcher Granny in the bus and I'm securing the chair and setting up the seat belt mechanism in order to help prevent Stretcher Granny from slipping any further than she is already. Her son and daughter-in-law reposition her a couple times, scooting her up in the chair so she is not sliding down as much. The CNA returns with pillows which they place under her head on the seat propped up against the bus wall. I cinch the seat belt down and ask the family if they think it is secure enough. Then I let the daughter-in-law know that I will drive gently and slowly so as not to jar Stretcher Granny. Also I requested she remain standing to help support Granny. Stretcher Granny is moaning and complaining by now and we haven't even left the parking lot yet.

The ride over to the house is uneventful and I make small talk, all the while holding my phone ready to dial 911 if Stretcher Granny shows any signs of slippage. In transit, I discover there is no ramp to wheel Stretcher Granny up to the house, only stairs. We arrive and I position the bus to let the ramp down by the back patio which has 3 steps about 2 inches high each, so they were very shallow steps. The ramp won't reach to the patio without the door being blocked. Not wanting to get any closer to the air conditioner, I decide to let Stretcher Granny down as close to the steps as possible. As I'm unhooking her, the urine bag had fallen on the floor of the bus (YUCK!) and fearing the family would move her before it was secure again, I did mention it and the family fixed it. The daughter-in-law says to the son, "Next time we're calling an ambulance!" and he says completely oblivious, "Was it that bad?"

Because I was so close to the house and the steps, there was a thorn bush right by where I had to stand to let the lift down. As such, I managed to get trapped between the thorns and the lift resulting in a few nice thorns to my butt while I'm trying to maneuver Stretcher Granny onto the lift. I had decided since we were close enough to the steps, that we should back her on to the lift and let her down backwards, but this meant her head would not be supported. Luckily her son was tall enough that he supported her head on the way down. In order to get her off the lift and release me from any liability in this case, she had to be bumped up the steps. So, I helped her son bump Stretcher Granny up the steps so they could get her in the house. (We technically are not supposed to do lifting, but because I simply wanted to get the heck out of there, I did.)

Stretcher Granny's son asks me how to pay and I explain that he can go ahead and pay the 6 dollar fee now. He hands me a 10 and asks for change. I oblige and he walks away without so much as giving a tip. We don't expect tips, but mind you, its a holiday weekend, I got Stretcher Granny home under extenuating circumstances, I helped bump her up the steps, I went above and beyond what we do in normal circumstances and the guy is a complete jackass! I'm sorry that your 6 dollars didn't buy you a 600 dollar ambulance ride. That's what you get for being a cheap jerk.

Worthy of my 100th post?

The Bus Driver