Recently, I had the pleasure of meeting up with a very good friend. She has three very adorable and personable children and we spent the day in the sun on the beach. HyperGirl, her middle child, is aptly named as she is incredibly hyper ALL. THE. TIME. The kid just never stops moving! Our conversations usually happened like this:
HyperGirl: Miss Bus Driver! Miss Bus Driver! Miss Bus Driver! Miss Bus Driver! Miss Bus Driver! Miss Bus Driver! Miss Bus Driver! Miss Bus Driver! Miss Bus Driver! Miss Bus Driver! Miss Bus Driver!
Me: What?
HyperGirl: I'm Annoying!!!
Then dissolving into fits of laughter in the backseat.
But, one particular conversation stands out among all interactions I had with this child.
HyperGirl: I like this car, is it new?
Me: Yes it is new.
HyperGirl: Oh really? When did you get it?
Me: I got it after my Accident.
HyperGirl: (trying to sound sympathetic) Oh well, thats ok, I still have accidents too... I wet the bed sometimes!
Her mother and I couldn't help but laugh.
*********************************************************
In other news, I transported Milk Lady to Walmart recently. I had her on my list on other days, but she had simply not materialized. It was another rainy day and I pulled up to her apartment to see her door propped open. This was a sure sign that she was going to go. I also had a witness in the bus, a lady from the office who was hitching a ride to the maintenance shop to pick up a bus that had been serviced. As we pulled up to the apartment, the lady from the office mentioned to me that she was going to simply sit back and watch how Milk Lady treated me as a driver. I nodded and waited.
Milk Lady appeared at the doorway and called out to the bus, "Are you going to close my door for me?" I responded back politely with, "No ma'am I'm not allowed." She started to call me a liar and then thought better of it, opened her mailbox right outside her door and pulled out this blue dog leash thingy. It looks like a dog leash with the collar hook snipped off. She uses it to close the door when she is by herself. She holds it up and calls out to me, " THIS is NOT a DOG LEASH, it is a LEG STRAP." Apparently she was clarifying my misnomer. I had called it a dog leash on that fateful Saturday.
I nodded and smiled, and said, "OK" then proceeded to let down the lift. Milk Lady then made this HUGE production of asking her neighbor to close her door for her complete with hand gestures pointing out the EVIL transit lady who won't help a poor innocent handicapped person. She finally makes her way to the lift and I make small talk:
Me: So they finally put in a ramp for you in the sidewalk, it looks nice.
Milk Lady: I would PREFER if you didn't TALK to me.
I get the lift level with the bus, and she rolls herself in. At this point she sees the office lady and turns all sickeningly sweet as I'm securing her chair and says:
Milk Lady: OfficeLady, YOU would have shut my door for me RIGHT???
OfficeLady: I'm sorry, but its against our policy.
BUS DRIVER AND OFFICE LADY FOR THE WIN!!!!!!!!!!!
As soon as she heard that, she shut up and was silent and giving both of us the evil eye throughout the transport. We transported her to Walmart with no further complications, though she did ask if I was going to be the one to pick her up. When I replied negatively, she made this big production and said "Well thank GOD, I don't have to deal with you again!!!"
When she finally rolled off the lift at Walmart, I wished her a nice day, then sat back in the drivers seat. The office lady broke the silence by saying, "Well you could cut that tension with a knife!"
Eating Cookies... with Milk,
The Bus Driver
Wednesday, March 24, 2010
Tuesday, March 2, 2010
"Joe" Goes Missing and More False Teeth.
Miss Elderly is back on the bus again and there is no shortage of quotes from this lady.
Miss Elderly: Miss Bus Driver, I can't believe you told your momma about my false teeth that day!!
Me: Oh Really? I tell my mother just about everything!
Miss Elderly: Well I told my daughter that you told your momma what I said about my false teeth, and SHE told me I deserved it because I flap my gums too much!
Me: (laughing)
Miss Elderly: (continues) Well I can't help it if I take them out, I'm sure false teeth annoy everyone else as much as they annoy me!!
Me: ...........
**********************************
So the conversation then turns to snakes, spiders, and other creepy crawly hopping things. Miss Elderly is regaling me with tales of snakes trying to get inside the house and how she simply doesn't like anything that slithers and crawls.
Miss Elderly: This one day in my room, there was a spider in the corner, and I stared at it and it stared back at me and I hollered to my daughter that she better come and do something about it because I told her that one of us was gonna HAVE to go!!
Me: (falling over with laughter)
**********************************
Later on the bus, I had a few kids who came up with this gem:
Kid1: Getcho feet outta the aisle!
Kid2: Whose Joe?
Kid3: Joe doesn't ride this bus!
Laughing Silly,
The Bus Driver
Miss Elderly: Miss Bus Driver, I can't believe you told your momma about my false teeth that day!!
Me: Oh Really? I tell my mother just about everything!
Miss Elderly: Well I told my daughter that you told your momma what I said about my false teeth, and SHE told me I deserved it because I flap my gums too much!
Me: (laughing)
Miss Elderly: (continues) Well I can't help it if I take them out, I'm sure false teeth annoy everyone else as much as they annoy me!!
Me: ...........
**********************************
So the conversation then turns to snakes, spiders, and other creepy crawly hopping things. Miss Elderly is regaling me with tales of snakes trying to get inside the house and how she simply doesn't like anything that slithers and crawls.
Miss Elderly: This one day in my room, there was a spider in the corner, and I stared at it and it stared back at me and I hollered to my daughter that she better come and do something about it because I told her that one of us was gonna HAVE to go!!
Me: (falling over with laughter)
**********************************
Later on the bus, I had a few kids who came up with this gem:
Kid1: Getcho feet outta the aisle!
Kid2: Whose Joe?
Kid3: Joe doesn't ride this bus!
Laughing Silly,
The Bus Driver
Friday, February 19, 2010
The Story of Milk Lady - Transit
****Be forewarned, this blog is long****
As a transit driver, I normally go the extra mile for a client by doing things like opening doors, helping to load some of their groceries, or giving them a hand to help them up or down on the bus. Doing things like this takes only a minimal amount of time and it helps me develop a rapport with repeat clients. Most people who ride transit can handle their own items themselves, but occasionally, I’ll have to hold a purse or a bag for an elderly woman, or fold up the walker of the elderly man who rides.
One of the requests we ask of folks riding transit is that they have exact change for their fare. We often cannot make change and if we have to stop and make change at a convenience store, it’s very inconvenient. Most of our clients adhere to this policy and for the few clients who do not have change for their fare we can usually make change, but those clients typically hand us a 5 dollar bill for a 4 dollar fare, so making change is somewhat easy if all you have is a couple dollars.
The Milk Lady is in a wheelchair and partially paralyzed. She rides transit quite often and can be a handful. She is typically agreeable as long as one doesn’t tell her “No” or says something that can tick her off. She likes to take advantage of situations and play that she can’t do something when she really can. Because of her paralysis, she has limited mobility of her hands. However this limited mobility does not stop her from dialing her cell phone, texting her friends, and any other number of things that she can do with them, but she claims she cannot turn a key in her lock or open her door.
Her apartment complex installed a special handle (elongated, not round) on her door just for her so that she could open and access her apartment. We know that she will regularly leave her apartment by herself, lock the door (it has a twisty lock on the inside) and somehow get back in by herself after her trip down the street to K-Mart or Burger King.
The Milk Lady’s story begins on a Tuesday afternoon. She had ridden transit over to our local Wal-Mart. She usually never has exact change and asked the first driver to change out a 20-dollar bill. The first driver did not have the change and told her to simply get change at Wal-Mart and pay me for the full fare when I picked her up. Her full round trip fare was a whopping 4 dollars. It was a dreary rainy Tuesday when I pulled up to pick her up. The first thing I asked her was if she had exact change for the fare. She looked me straight in the face and said, “Yes”. She had a cartload of groceries (milk, yogurt, and a few other things). I loaded the groceries on the bus and then got her loaded and secured in the bus. She really should have an aide with her when she shops to handle all the groceries she gets, but she expects others to simply drop what they’re doing and do it for her.
I get in the drivers seat and am watching her fumble around in her purse, and she asks me, “Do you have change for a 5?” My incredulous response, “YOU told ME you had exact change. YOU were JUST at Wal-Mart where you KNEW you would have to have exact change for the fare. NO I do NOT have change for a 5.” Now, I don’t know if she had forgotten to get change, but she kept coming up with excuse after excuse as to why she didn’t have change. Then she turns it on me and says, “How come you guys don’t carry change? YOU should carry change for ME!” Again, I reiterated that she was just at Wal-Mart and that she had every opportunity to get change. She asked if I could simply “credit” her account the 1-dollar towards her next ride. I explained that we don’t usually do that, and she begged me to call my supervisor. I did, and it was approved for this ONE time only. In past trips, she has always had a 20-dollar bill and I’ve ALWAYS had to stop somewhere to get it changed out. In fact, on one of these stops to change a bill, she remarked “Oh I need to stop doing this, I need to carry change on me.” She is very manipulative.
We leave Wal-Mart parking lot and pull up at her apartment. In past trips she has asked me to unlock the door for her and push it open so she can get in and in past trips I have obliged, going the extra mile. This time there was the added complication of groceries. Since it was raining, I didn’t feel that I should put the groceries on the sidewalk to let them get wet, so I thought I’d be extra polite and bring them just inside to the kitchen. Her kitchen is located just to the left of the front door of the apartment, so it was not a far stretch to simply put the items on the floor in front of the refrigerator in the kitchen.
Next thing I know, she BLOCKS the exit with her chair (she is not a super small woman, and neither am I) and proceeds to ask me if I can put her milk away in the refrigerator. Our exchange goes like this:
Milk Lady (blocking the door and effectively trapping me in the kitchen): Can you put my milk in the fridge for me?
Me: I’m sorry I can’t help you, I have another pick up, and I need to get going now.
Milk Lady (still blocking the door): Why can’t you? Its just right there!”
Me: I’m sorry, but I can’t. Now please let me out so I can go do another pick up, I’m going to be late if I don’t get out now.
Milk Lady: I just don’t see why you can’t help me and put my milk away. Its in its own bag, you wouldn’t have to take it out of the bag, just put it in the fridge.
Me (getting exasperated): I’m sorry, but I really CAN’T, now please move aside so I can get out and on my way.
Milk Lady (rolling into her apartment in a huff): How rude is that! Someone who can’t even help a handicapped person! I guess my milk will spoil!
Me (slamming the door):…..
Milk Lady (trying to call me back inside):……….
By this time I was late by 5 minutes to my next pick up, and late getting to my primary job (school bus) that afternoon. All I could think about after the exchange was the story “If You give a Mouse a Cookie”. I called my supervisor to let her know I was running late and what had happened regarding the milk. Shortly after that, Milk Lady called the office complaining about me not putting her milk away and about how I was rude and disrespectful. I made the decision right then and there to NEVER go out of my way for her again. If she has groceries, they get deposited on the sidewalk outside her apartment. I’m not going to unlock and open the door for her anymore. She has taken advantage of me one too many times.
Fast forward to Saturday when she shows up on my list again. This time, going out to her boyfriend’s house. Her fare was 6 dollars round trip, but I subtracted the one dollar credit she had, so her fare turned out to be only 5 dollars. I pulled up to her apartment and her aide comes to the door. I call out and tell the aide to make sure that Milk Lady could get back inside her apartment by herself. When Milk Lady finally appears I tell her in no short order that I’m not going to unlock the door for her anymore and that she had better be able to get back into the apartment without my help. She becomes indignant and asks why the sudden change of heart. I explained to her that after Tuesday’s incident, there would be no more help.
She was visibly angry at me and started to berate me about how I was heartless for not helping a handicapped woman. I told her that I’d simply call my supervisor and my supervisor would tell me not to even take her anywhere, and just leave. She stopped for about a minute, just long enough for me to get her on the lift and start moving the lift up. About half way up she turns and looks at me and says, “Your attitude is just like your face!” I finished moving the lift up to the bus level and stated, “Thank you for the compliment!” She was speechless, and then proceeded to whip out her cell phone and call her boyfriend and advise him that I’m so heartless and that I don’t care about handicapped people. She also called me “that FAT transit lady.” She was loud enough that I had to listen to her for the entire 20-minute ride out to her boyfriend’s house. I simply let her off and told her of the return time.
On the return trip, she confirmed that I wouldn’t open the door for her back at her apartment. I simply told her that I wasn’t allowed. I should have known that would set her off. Again she angrily dialed her boyfriend or other friends and claimed I was being mean and heartless to her. Then she demanded to know who told me I wasn’t allowed to open the door for her anymore. I did not justify that with an answer, so she exclaimed that she was going to call the big boss man and demand answers. Basically she was threatening me to see if I would cave and give in to her demands. Then we had the following exchange:
Milk Lady (rather haughtily): Well YOU wont have to worry about seeing ME on your bus again!
Me (politely): Oh, do you mean me personally or transit in general?
Milk Lady: YOU personally!
Me (still politely): So would you like to cancel for tomorrow morning too, since I have you on my list?
Milk Lady (still rude): No, well you can pick me up for tomorrow, but no more after that.
Me: Ok.
I dropped her off and then called my boss man to advise him of the situation that was happening. I told him exactly what had happened, how she had insulted me and what I said to her in return. Sunday morning, she called me and told me she was canceling her ride. Cry me a river.
A few days ago, she called up and asked for a ride again on Saturday. She also requested that I not be the one to pick her up. The scheduling lady told her flat out that we don’t accept requests; you get who you get, and either you go or you stay home. Milk Lady tried to be rude and got told that she will not disrespect the transit drivers again. Go office secretary lady!
So as of right now, I haven’t had to pick her up since the last Saturday exchange. It will be interesting to see what this weekend brings!
Being Very Patient,
The Bus Driver
As a transit driver, I normally go the extra mile for a client by doing things like opening doors, helping to load some of their groceries, or giving them a hand to help them up or down on the bus. Doing things like this takes only a minimal amount of time and it helps me develop a rapport with repeat clients. Most people who ride transit can handle their own items themselves, but occasionally, I’ll have to hold a purse or a bag for an elderly woman, or fold up the walker of the elderly man who rides.
One of the requests we ask of folks riding transit is that they have exact change for their fare. We often cannot make change and if we have to stop and make change at a convenience store, it’s very inconvenient. Most of our clients adhere to this policy and for the few clients who do not have change for their fare we can usually make change, but those clients typically hand us a 5 dollar bill for a 4 dollar fare, so making change is somewhat easy if all you have is a couple dollars.
The Milk Lady is in a wheelchair and partially paralyzed. She rides transit quite often and can be a handful. She is typically agreeable as long as one doesn’t tell her “No” or says something that can tick her off. She likes to take advantage of situations and play that she can’t do something when she really can. Because of her paralysis, she has limited mobility of her hands. However this limited mobility does not stop her from dialing her cell phone, texting her friends, and any other number of things that she can do with them, but she claims she cannot turn a key in her lock or open her door.
Her apartment complex installed a special handle (elongated, not round) on her door just for her so that she could open and access her apartment. We know that she will regularly leave her apartment by herself, lock the door (it has a twisty lock on the inside) and somehow get back in by herself after her trip down the street to K-Mart or Burger King.
The Milk Lady’s story begins on a Tuesday afternoon. She had ridden transit over to our local Wal-Mart. She usually never has exact change and asked the first driver to change out a 20-dollar bill. The first driver did not have the change and told her to simply get change at Wal-Mart and pay me for the full fare when I picked her up. Her full round trip fare was a whopping 4 dollars. It was a dreary rainy Tuesday when I pulled up to pick her up. The first thing I asked her was if she had exact change for the fare. She looked me straight in the face and said, “Yes”. She had a cartload of groceries (milk, yogurt, and a few other things). I loaded the groceries on the bus and then got her loaded and secured in the bus. She really should have an aide with her when she shops to handle all the groceries she gets, but she expects others to simply drop what they’re doing and do it for her.
I get in the drivers seat and am watching her fumble around in her purse, and she asks me, “Do you have change for a 5?” My incredulous response, “YOU told ME you had exact change. YOU were JUST at Wal-Mart where you KNEW you would have to have exact change for the fare. NO I do NOT have change for a 5.” Now, I don’t know if she had forgotten to get change, but she kept coming up with excuse after excuse as to why she didn’t have change. Then she turns it on me and says, “How come you guys don’t carry change? YOU should carry change for ME!” Again, I reiterated that she was just at Wal-Mart and that she had every opportunity to get change. She asked if I could simply “credit” her account the 1-dollar towards her next ride. I explained that we don’t usually do that, and she begged me to call my supervisor. I did, and it was approved for this ONE time only. In past trips, she has always had a 20-dollar bill and I’ve ALWAYS had to stop somewhere to get it changed out. In fact, on one of these stops to change a bill, she remarked “Oh I need to stop doing this, I need to carry change on me.” She is very manipulative.
We leave Wal-Mart parking lot and pull up at her apartment. In past trips she has asked me to unlock the door for her and push it open so she can get in and in past trips I have obliged, going the extra mile. This time there was the added complication of groceries. Since it was raining, I didn’t feel that I should put the groceries on the sidewalk to let them get wet, so I thought I’d be extra polite and bring them just inside to the kitchen. Her kitchen is located just to the left of the front door of the apartment, so it was not a far stretch to simply put the items on the floor in front of the refrigerator in the kitchen.
Next thing I know, she BLOCKS the exit with her chair (she is not a super small woman, and neither am I) and proceeds to ask me if I can put her milk away in the refrigerator. Our exchange goes like this:
Milk Lady (blocking the door and effectively trapping me in the kitchen): Can you put my milk in the fridge for me?
Me: I’m sorry I can’t help you, I have another pick up, and I need to get going now.
Milk Lady (still blocking the door): Why can’t you? Its just right there!”
Me: I’m sorry, but I can’t. Now please let me out so I can go do another pick up, I’m going to be late if I don’t get out now.
Milk Lady: I just don’t see why you can’t help me and put my milk away. Its in its own bag, you wouldn’t have to take it out of the bag, just put it in the fridge.
Me (getting exasperated): I’m sorry, but I really CAN’T, now please move aside so I can get out and on my way.
Milk Lady (rolling into her apartment in a huff): How rude is that! Someone who can’t even help a handicapped person! I guess my milk will spoil!
Me (slamming the door):…..
Milk Lady (trying to call me back inside):……….
By this time I was late by 5 minutes to my next pick up, and late getting to my primary job (school bus) that afternoon. All I could think about after the exchange was the story “If You give a Mouse a Cookie”. I called my supervisor to let her know I was running late and what had happened regarding the milk. Shortly after that, Milk Lady called the office complaining about me not putting her milk away and about how I was rude and disrespectful. I made the decision right then and there to NEVER go out of my way for her again. If she has groceries, they get deposited on the sidewalk outside her apartment. I’m not going to unlock and open the door for her anymore. She has taken advantage of me one too many times.
Fast forward to Saturday when she shows up on my list again. This time, going out to her boyfriend’s house. Her fare was 6 dollars round trip, but I subtracted the one dollar credit she had, so her fare turned out to be only 5 dollars. I pulled up to her apartment and her aide comes to the door. I call out and tell the aide to make sure that Milk Lady could get back inside her apartment by herself. When Milk Lady finally appears I tell her in no short order that I’m not going to unlock the door for her anymore and that she had better be able to get back into the apartment without my help. She becomes indignant and asks why the sudden change of heart. I explained to her that after Tuesday’s incident, there would be no more help.
She was visibly angry at me and started to berate me about how I was heartless for not helping a handicapped woman. I told her that I’d simply call my supervisor and my supervisor would tell me not to even take her anywhere, and just leave. She stopped for about a minute, just long enough for me to get her on the lift and start moving the lift up. About half way up she turns and looks at me and says, “Your attitude is just like your face!” I finished moving the lift up to the bus level and stated, “Thank you for the compliment!” She was speechless, and then proceeded to whip out her cell phone and call her boyfriend and advise him that I’m so heartless and that I don’t care about handicapped people. She also called me “that FAT transit lady.” She was loud enough that I had to listen to her for the entire 20-minute ride out to her boyfriend’s house. I simply let her off and told her of the return time.
On the return trip, she confirmed that I wouldn’t open the door for her back at her apartment. I simply told her that I wasn’t allowed. I should have known that would set her off. Again she angrily dialed her boyfriend or other friends and claimed I was being mean and heartless to her. Then she demanded to know who told me I wasn’t allowed to open the door for her anymore. I did not justify that with an answer, so she exclaimed that she was going to call the big boss man and demand answers. Basically she was threatening me to see if I would cave and give in to her demands. Then we had the following exchange:
Milk Lady (rather haughtily): Well YOU wont have to worry about seeing ME on your bus again!
Me (politely): Oh, do you mean me personally or transit in general?
Milk Lady: YOU personally!
Me (still politely): So would you like to cancel for tomorrow morning too, since I have you on my list?
Milk Lady (still rude): No, well you can pick me up for tomorrow, but no more after that.
Me: Ok.
I dropped her off and then called my boss man to advise him of the situation that was happening. I told him exactly what had happened, how she had insulted me and what I said to her in return. Sunday morning, she called me and told me she was canceling her ride. Cry me a river.
A few days ago, she called up and asked for a ride again on Saturday. She also requested that I not be the one to pick her up. The scheduling lady told her flat out that we don’t accept requests; you get who you get, and either you go or you stay home. Milk Lady tried to be rude and got told that she will not disrespect the transit drivers again. Go office secretary lady!
So as of right now, I haven’t had to pick her up since the last Saturday exchange. It will be interesting to see what this weekend brings!
Being Very Patient,
The Bus Driver
Saturday, February 6, 2010
Sunday Hats and Strange Offers - Transit
Well, it has been a while since I've updated simply due to the increase in work from both jobs. I've been working the weekends mainly at transit and have a few upcoming field trips that I'm definitely looking forward to.
Almost every Sunday, I have the pleasure of transporting an elderly black baptist lady (Hat Lady) over to her church in a nearby town about a 15 minute ride. She is in a wheelchair and has no mobility and resides in a nursing home, but she faithfully goes to church every Sunday when she is in good health. Every Sunday that she does go to church, she dresses up and puts on a hat. Yes, true southern baptist HATS. Its a surprise every Sunday which hat she wears. They range in color from traditional white, black, and blue, to as extravagant as red and animal prints. Naturally, her outfit always matches her hat.
I call my mother most every Sunday to give her the "Hat Report". Last Sunday, she wore a leopard print hat and had the matching jacket to go with it. Unfortunately this Sunday, I'll be transporting Negative Ned over to his storage buildings in order for him to load up the bus with junk to haul back to town.
In transit, I come across a lot of strange characters and receive a lot of requests from folks who don't want to pay the extra money for a service like stopping at a Burger King to procure lunch. Often times these folks will offer to pay for my meal, or offer me a drink or a small tip in return for providing the extra stop. Usually, I am not allowed to stop anywhere that is not designated on transit on our schedules, but occasionally, I have to make exceptions. Most of the exceptions come when folks do not have exact change for the ride, so I simply stop at a convenience store nearby, change out the money, and quickly get underway. Other times, if I have to wait an extended period of time for a person at a destination out of town, I will take the bus to the nearest restaurant and get refreshment for myself. Other requests that I receive are typically requests for help such as opening a door for a handicapped person, or quickly running into a building for a person that cannot physically do it. I'm usually willing to oblige these requests, as it simply makes my life and the other persons life easier.
Funeral Faith is a lady I've transported to a viewing at a funeral home as well as a couple of her family functions. Her morbid name comes from the fact that her son (Funeral Frank) owns a part of a local funeral home. Her family is very warm and welcoming. There is always a family member who rides the bus with Faith to whatever the function is. During one of the last transports, Funeral Frank rode the bus with her. We got to talking and he revealed that he was part owner to a local funeral home. Then he proceeded to give me the strangest offer I have received to date. He has offered me a free tour of the Funeral Home.
Yes, a Funeral Home.
I didn't know how to respond to it, so I simply thanked him for his generous offer, and told him I'd consider it. Inside I was screaming, "EEK Dead Bodies!!! RUN AWAY!!!"
Going to an Early Grave,
The Bus Driver
Almost every Sunday, I have the pleasure of transporting an elderly black baptist lady (Hat Lady) over to her church in a nearby town about a 15 minute ride. She is in a wheelchair and has no mobility and resides in a nursing home, but she faithfully goes to church every Sunday when she is in good health. Every Sunday that she does go to church, she dresses up and puts on a hat. Yes, true southern baptist HATS. Its a surprise every Sunday which hat she wears. They range in color from traditional white, black, and blue, to as extravagant as red and animal prints. Naturally, her outfit always matches her hat.
I call my mother most every Sunday to give her the "Hat Report". Last Sunday, she wore a leopard print hat and had the matching jacket to go with it. Unfortunately this Sunday, I'll be transporting Negative Ned over to his storage buildings in order for him to load up the bus with junk to haul back to town.
In transit, I come across a lot of strange characters and receive a lot of requests from folks who don't want to pay the extra money for a service like stopping at a Burger King to procure lunch. Often times these folks will offer to pay for my meal, or offer me a drink or a small tip in return for providing the extra stop. Usually, I am not allowed to stop anywhere that is not designated on transit on our schedules, but occasionally, I have to make exceptions. Most of the exceptions come when folks do not have exact change for the ride, so I simply stop at a convenience store nearby, change out the money, and quickly get underway. Other times, if I have to wait an extended period of time for a person at a destination out of town, I will take the bus to the nearest restaurant and get refreshment for myself. Other requests that I receive are typically requests for help such as opening a door for a handicapped person, or quickly running into a building for a person that cannot physically do it. I'm usually willing to oblige these requests, as it simply makes my life and the other persons life easier.
Funeral Faith is a lady I've transported to a viewing at a funeral home as well as a couple of her family functions. Her morbid name comes from the fact that her son (Funeral Frank) owns a part of a local funeral home. Her family is very warm and welcoming. There is always a family member who rides the bus with Faith to whatever the function is. During one of the last transports, Funeral Frank rode the bus with her. We got to talking and he revealed that he was part owner to a local funeral home. Then he proceeded to give me the strangest offer I have received to date. He has offered me a free tour of the Funeral Home.
Yes, a Funeral Home.
I didn't know how to respond to it, so I simply thanked him for his generous offer, and told him I'd consider it. Inside I was screaming, "EEK Dead Bodies!!! RUN AWAY!!!"
Going to an Early Grave,
The Bus Driver
Friday, January 22, 2010
Overheard - Two for the Price of One
Today was a fun filled day of circuses and bowling. Both unrelated trips, but both producing their equivalent of hyperactive excitable children. A large group of Pre-K babies got to go see the circus at a local venue. Of course this morning, most of the babies were already hyped up for the field trip and really excited. This of course left them on a permanent sugar buzz from all the cotton candy, sugar, and excitement throughout the day of lions, tigers, and bears - Oh My! This little gem came from the afternoon route.
I often have the opportunity to sit and listen to Pre-K babies interact with each other while waiting for the larger kids to come out of their school. Often these children love to "tattle" on each other and most simply call me "Ms. Bus Driver". This exchange happened today while waiting:
Pre-K Girl 1: Ms. RegularDriversName! Ms. RegularDriversName! Ms. RegularDriversName!
Pre-K Girl 2(to #1): Ms. RegularDriversName is not here today!
Pre-K Girl 1(with attitude): So,she can change her name to Ms. RegularDriversName.
Apparently according to Girl 1 - I can magically change my name at will! AMAZING!
**************************************************
I did not get to go to the circus. I did get to take the 7th graders bowling. This trip was a reward for good behavior. As always with trips, lots of random and unexplainable things happen. This happened on the bus en route to the bowling alley:
7th Grade Boy(standing up randomly): When I say Hillshire!, You say Farm!
7th Grade Boy(continuing after a pause): HILLSHIRE!
Whole Bus(including myself and the teachers): FARM! GO MEAT!
Complete with pumping arms in air victoriously.
Yes. It was a good ride.
The Bus Driver
I often have the opportunity to sit and listen to Pre-K babies interact with each other while waiting for the larger kids to come out of their school. Often these children love to "tattle" on each other and most simply call me "Ms. Bus Driver". This exchange happened today while waiting:
Pre-K Girl 1: Ms. RegularDriversName! Ms. RegularDriversName! Ms. RegularDriversName!
Pre-K Girl 2(to #1): Ms. RegularDriversName is not here today!
Pre-K Girl 1(with attitude): So,she can change her name to Ms. RegularDriversName.
Apparently according to Girl 1 - I can magically change my name at will! AMAZING!
**************************************************
I did not get to go to the circus. I did get to take the 7th graders bowling. This trip was a reward for good behavior. As always with trips, lots of random and unexplainable things happen. This happened on the bus en route to the bowling alley:
7th Grade Boy(standing up randomly): When I say Hillshire!, You say Farm!
7th Grade Boy(continuing after a pause): HILLSHIRE!
Whole Bus(including myself and the teachers): FARM! GO MEAT!
Complete with pumping arms in air victoriously.
Yes. It was a good ride.
The Bus Driver
Saturday, January 16, 2010
Overheard - Transit Edition
Driving an elderly woman home.
Miss Elderly: Miss Bus Driver, You know what I'm gonna do when I get home?
Me: No, what are you going to do.
Miss Elderly: Well, first I'm going to take out my false teeth, then I'm gonna cut my TV on, then I'm gonna strip.
Me: .........
Miss Elderly: Miss Bus Driver, You know what I'm gonna do when I get home?
Me: No, what are you going to do.
Miss Elderly: Well, first I'm going to take out my false teeth, then I'm gonna cut my TV on, then I'm gonna strip.
Me: .........
Monday, January 11, 2010
I won't tell if you won't!
After a long winter break, I've compiled a list of things I've learned while working odd hours.
1. Walmart carts roll in the back of a bus when they are not secured.
2. Walmart carts that roll, but are filled with groceries, will NOT tip over, just simply slam into the walls of the bus uninhibited making loud noises.
3. The wheelchair lift will malfunction when you least expect it and at the most inopportune times.
4. When it is raining, the optimal time for loading people that are wheelchair bound is when it is pouring rain. Contrarily, the second you sit in the drivers seat after getting soaked is when the rain will stop.
5. Old people are great!
The fifth item on the list deserves a story.
There once was this old cranky man who lived alone, but traveled somewhere different every day for lunch/breakfast. Well as of recently he has not been taking his daily jaunts into town, so imagine my surprise when he showed up on my schedule one day for transit. I show up at his house, and he hobbles out with a cane and a very large clunky boot on his foot. (Apparently he's had foot surgery of some sort.)
Anyhow, he gets on the bus and after the usual friendly banter, we're off to his destination. About halfway through the ride, he tells me about how he's basically been a prisoner in his own home because he's supposed to be staying there and keeping his leg elevated. He also complains that his daughter is not bringing him all the milk that he wanted to drink. The man is elderly and very set in his ways.
He then informs me that his daughter doesn't know about his lunch trip, but that she'd be in church until noon, and he's "Just GOT to get out of the house!" So I said to him, "I won't tell if you won't! But we gotta get you home before your daughter comes over to find you missing!" He just laughed and grinned. He returned home with a belly full and a very happy demeanor.
Fast forward to later in the week, his daughter called while I was sitting in the office demanding to know if we took her father out to eat over the weekend.
BUSTED!
The Bus Driver
1. Walmart carts roll in the back of a bus when they are not secured.
2. Walmart carts that roll, but are filled with groceries, will NOT tip over, just simply slam into the walls of the bus uninhibited making loud noises.
3. The wheelchair lift will malfunction when you least expect it and at the most inopportune times.
4. When it is raining, the optimal time for loading people that are wheelchair bound is when it is pouring rain. Contrarily, the second you sit in the drivers seat after getting soaked is when the rain will stop.
5. Old people are great!
The fifth item on the list deserves a story.
There once was this old cranky man who lived alone, but traveled somewhere different every day for lunch/breakfast. Well as of recently he has not been taking his daily jaunts into town, so imagine my surprise when he showed up on my schedule one day for transit. I show up at his house, and he hobbles out with a cane and a very large clunky boot on his foot. (Apparently he's had foot surgery of some sort.)
Anyhow, he gets on the bus and after the usual friendly banter, we're off to his destination. About halfway through the ride, he tells me about how he's basically been a prisoner in his own home because he's supposed to be staying there and keeping his leg elevated. He also complains that his daughter is not bringing him all the milk that he wanted to drink. The man is elderly and very set in his ways.
He then informs me that his daughter doesn't know about his lunch trip, but that she'd be in church until noon, and he's "Just GOT to get out of the house!" So I said to him, "I won't tell if you won't! But we gotta get you home before your daughter comes over to find you missing!" He just laughed and grinned. He returned home with a belly full and a very happy demeanor.
Fast forward to later in the week, his daughter called while I was sitting in the office demanding to know if we took her father out to eat over the weekend.
BUSTED!
The Bus Driver
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